so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
