She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
