u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
