I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
