I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
