Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
