Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
