Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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