They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
