I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
