Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
