break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
