I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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