You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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