i just had sex bonerless
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
