i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize