I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
