my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
