i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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