SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
