So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
