It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
