I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
