I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
