Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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