this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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