I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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