So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
