TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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