I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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