I'm gonna have a badass scar
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No subtext here. People are naked.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
