ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
