Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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