FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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