we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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