Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
