nut hugger
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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