your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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