with your own penis?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
