I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize