Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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