Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
