Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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