rhymes with "ouble enetration"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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