I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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