We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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