you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
