well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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