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yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
