oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
