My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
