Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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