summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He keeps bees of course he's weird
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
