forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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