I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
