I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
