That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
