I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
