But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
