she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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