you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize